Choose your Attitude

Advice given to can't always choose the circumstances of your life but you CAN choose your attitude! Okay, I guess I needed that.
Saturday night I had an hour long conversation with one of my kids and afterwards I started to do what I always do when I am disappointed/depressed/down: go into my little shell and harden my little heart. As I realized what I was doing, I made a concious choice to NOT let things get me down, and to actually open up my heart.
As I went to church on Sunday, with this new attitude, I found lots of things in Sacrament Meeting that spoke directly to me. "Why are we obedient? Is it because of fear? Perhaps the selfishness of wanting something in return- like a blessing? Is it because we want to be good and it happens to be 'on the list'? Or is it because of love- the supernal reason for obedience?"
It occured to me that we first learn this by obeying our parents and then as we reach that age when we are breaking our ties with our parents, we need to learn to obey because we love Heavenly Father and Jesus. Then it becomes our testimony, our way of life, not just our parents.
So it is with the child that I spent the evening talking with. He needs to figure all this out on his own but I am sure that he will have to go through some bumps and bruises before he does. All I can do is pray for him. A poor spectator's sport is what I always call raising teenagers, particularly teenagers that wander.
Well, don't we all wander in some sense at that time, as we are trying to get our own life and not just depend on our parents. We don't always understand what it is that we need. I remember telling my Dad when I was a teenager that I would never work at his office for him during the summer because I was not going to be dependant on him. Now, I look back on that and see how funny he must have thought that was as he was buying my food, my clothes, paying for my shelter, my car, and even my gas!! But no, I wasn't going to be dependant- yah right!
The sacrament hymn on Sunday was Behold the Great Redeemer Die. The fourth verse starts: 'Father, from me remove this cup. yet, if thou wilt, I'll drink it up.' It totally struck me that I have asked for this cup to be removed but the Father has not seen fit to do that, so I have to drink it up. But unlike my Savior, I don't have to drink it alone, He is there to help me as I taste the bitterness of it. And so the closing hymn sank deep in my heart as I sang "Abide with me, 'tis eventide, And lone will be the night If I cannot commune with thee Nor find in thee my light. The darkness of the world, I fear, Would in my home abide. O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, 'tis eventide. "